Year 1638!

AI enhanced street view. Ray & Maria Stata centre.

Like a lot of my other stories this one too is from a long time ago! A long long time ago I wanted to study in a foreign University. I had quite a bit of money saved up from my job as a project designer in Russia and I had heard a lot about how you could make up the short fall! I was not certain but apparently bursaries, campus jobs and scholarships would have seen me through.

I applied to a few in US , including Parsons school of design! I was always a cheeky over ambitious sort and I always went for the impossible! Most of my great successes and bitter defeats can be chalked to the fact that I always overreach.  Well a couple of these schools did not respond at all. A couple asked for more details as in a polite no and a few sent in their student package tailored to my situation detailing next steps I needed to take and the timeline for the fall session. It was a provisional yes ; I was in and I had a choice of schools to go as well.

Do not ask me which school I chose.  I did not attend any of those schools. It Is a bit complex but because of certain life events that had taken place ;  my family insisted that I should go abroad only after I marry. I understand it was to protect my fragile situation but I should have brushed their opinions aside! It stopped me in my tracks instead ! I froze. I was too despondent to marry and I did not pursue my education either. I let all offers lapse and one fine day I made a bonfire of all those painful reminders of my weak resolve.  University papers along with some other cards,  and letters and promises were burned to ash and banished from my thoughts forever! I was entirely mistaken !  I Have not forgotten anything; not even a little bit ! Clearly everything was etched on my heart!

I have silently cursed myself everyday ever since for my poor motivation. I could have done it; I had it in me; I should have ! Life however does not stop for your indecision; bad decision or dilly dallying. Life took me over too and I could  set a foot inside a foreign University lecture hall only on the day I drove my son there for his  engineering orientation!

I have participated in a few MOOC courses from world's topmost universities. Let me tell you It is not the same and does even provide a cold comfort! The distinction was sharply brought home to me  in Boston, Massachusetts.  I went to visit Harvard and MIT in Cambridge; just across the Charles river. The electricity that courses throughout your entire being as you enter the gate itself is something that needs to be felt first hand.

  I landed at Harvard on the day their student orientation was taking place. How should I describe the sense of utter loss I felt ?  It was strangely mixed with the exuberant joy at seeing all those new students milling about with purpose and great expectations. I became one of them for a  fleeting second; till I realized I am not! They could almost be my own grand children.  Never in my life have I felt more crushed and even more elated at the same time! 

 

I had to feel better quickly and I went on to MIT as therapy. I would have never qualified for anything at MIT but Imagine going to class in a building complex designed by Frank Gehry! Crinkled sculptural Ray & Maria Stata centre on Vassar street with  zigzag shiny metal canopies and red brick facade is famous for things more than its design. MIT ; that  knows a thing or two about building science actually sued the construction company and Gehry both for serious  deficiencies in the building. There that is one the major problems with a Gehry design. It is hard to build and harder to maintain. You can never remain neutral about his buildings  and you can not forget them in a hurry either! Would have loved to go in and experience it fully  if I had more time.  I watched its sculptural facade from the street near the pole that had a MIT flag hanging from it. Amazing experience indeed!

You realize in New York,  how similar New York is to Toronto. Someone that should know told me that most of the movies that call for a New York location  are actually filmed in Toronto . Nobody can make the difference on screen. Toronto is a cheaper and cleaner version of New York.  Actually New York has a different vibe. It is more restless, more agitated ,  edgier, more neon and hence gives a bigger adrenaline rush than Toronto. I like it in small doses. You have to be physically present for this experience though! Times square is probably the most dirty place in New York. Homeless; vagrants; scamsters; broken pavements and dirty overflowing garbage bins spilling smelly trash on the pathway;  vying for attention with unruly, drunk crowds;  make one feel right at home - If you are from India.

Indians can also identify with Washington DC. Just like New Delhi there are steel mesh barricades everywhere. You can hardly get near the white house or capitol hill . Secret service, police and K9 officers are patrolling aggressively everywhere. Air is heavy with officialdom. Muscular American nationalism of the Trump administration and its visible & voluble opposition has taken over all public spaces. Makes one hard to breathe. Its redeeming feature is a plethora  of excellent museums though  It does not feel like it should or as before. Maybe once Trump era gets over ......

Boston vibe  gives a high too but it has more gravitas! It comes wrapped with a lot of  American history and resonates with deep academic seriousness. There is a likeable openness that is typical of the American society. It is driven by the student population and its past as the cradle of the American revolution. Your experiences are free, open, accepting and generous! Significant hallmarks of the west. It is right after my own heart.

On that note  Quincy market there opened in 1826. There are reportedly over 100 food stalls there today. It is lively and  very popular. Several performers , singers and musicians can be seen performing outside all around it. Couples, families , kids  and youngsters sit on the stairs; on the pavement , on benches and just stand around to enjoy the music every evening. It is a sight that will restore your faith in humanity. We have indeed evolved from an animal state; at least culturally.

The establishment that I want to draw your attention to is called J J Donovan's Tavern. It opened with the market and has been in operation for 200 years. A simple beer tastes different here. Costs different too! It is worth it.  Apparently a drinking establishment endures as well as an educational  establishment! 

I could not have missed both; could I ? 

 

 

आटे दाल का भाव!

old ration shop

स्वर्णा चक्की फ्रेश आटे का  बीस पाउंड का बैग कब बारह डॉलर से उन्नीस का हो गया पता ही नहीं चला। यूं तो पहले भी ये दो इक डॉलर महंगा ही था औरों के मुकाबले ; पर अब सरासर चुभ रहा है! ला हम फिर भी वही रहे हैं। कोई रोटी खाना तो बंद नहीं न हो सकता! फिर ऐसे वैसे कोई भी आटा नहीं चलेगा। छोटी मोटी बातों को दिल पे लगाएंगे तो जियेंगे कैसे? यहां तो जीने के लिए बड़े बड़े गहरे दाग भी सबकी नज़र बचा के जिगर में छुपाये मुस्करा रहे है।

पर देखो अगर पेट भरा हो, सिर पर छत और बदन पे कपड़ा हो फिर भी कोई कितना लालच करे, इसकी कोई सीमा है कि नहीं। अपने पे नज़र डालूं तो कई बार कई लोगों को कभी मज़ाक़ में कभी कुछ इर्ष्या से कहते सुना है, "अरे ये तो लेक्सेस में चलते हैं"! मुझे इसमें कुछ खास बात नहीं लगती। लेक्सेस कौन सी रोल्स रॉयस है? मुझे  तो डेढ़ लाख डॉलर की मर्सिडीज जी वैगन पसंद आ रही है। तो क्या करूं इस लालच के लिए? नशा बेचना शुरू कर दूं क्या? 

यही पर मानसिक संतुलन; कमिटमेंट; मोरालिटी; सेल्फ कंट्रोल और एथिक्स की  आजमाइश शुरू होती है। मेरा मानना है कि कोई भी हर एक मोर्चा जीत नहीं पाता। लालच  और हवस की रस्ते  रस्ते रोक टोक है। पर खुद को सस्ते में पूरा का पूरा बेच डाले जो; थोड़े लालच के लिए, उसको क्या कहें! हैं कुछ लोग और मेरी बदकिस्मती से मेरी पहचान के ! वैसे इस मुद्दे पर सिर्फ वर्षों से मै ही अपना जी जला रहा हूं, वो अपना वजूद  हार के भी खुद को जीता हुआ समझते है! दूर कहीं अपनी दुनिया में खुश है! खुश रहें।

चाहे तो इसे हम एक ईश्वरीय माया कहें , चाहे सत्य,  पर सीता माता ने लक्ष्मण रेखा लांघी ! क्या हुआ? सोने का हिरण मिला? मिलता कैसे, ऐसा कुछ होता ही नहीं! फ़िर मिला क्या ? लांछन और विरह मिला! फिर धरती में समा जाने का भाग्य मिला ! कुछ सीखते हम इस कथा से पर हम हैं कि भागे चले जा रहे हैं किसी न किसी स्वर्णमृग के पीछे पीछे; हर लक्ष्मण रेखा लांघते हुए ! 

मैं ये कभी न कहूंगा कि पैसा बुरी चीज़ है। मसला यहां आता है कि कितना और कैसे। शास्त्रों ने समझाया है मनुष्य जीवन का लक्ष्य। धर्म, अर्थ, काम, मोक्ष !  आसान शब्दों में कहे तो अपना कर्म सही नियम से करके  पैसा कमाओ। उससे मौज मस्ती भी करो और प्रभु में लीन हो जन्म मरण के चक्रव्यू से मुक्त हो! तो देखा न पैसा कमाना बुरा नहीं , उसका उपयोग भी शास्त्र सम्मत है। बस धर्म अनुसार यानि नियमानुसार हो तभी तो मोक्ष भी प्राप्त होगा। वरना लालच ने तो ले डूबना है ही!

सुनो भाई अब कोई बाबर लुटेरा मंदिर लूटने फरगना से नहीं आता। हम लोग काफी हैं ! अब समझ आया क्यों 500 साल श्रीराम मंदिर नहीं बन पाया।  धोखा देने में ज़रा भी हिचक नहीं है बस अपना फायदा होना चाहिए! गद्दार बनने का कोई  मौका मिले तो सही, किसी की भी पीठ में खंजर उतार दें। मंदिर की दान पेटी से चोरी करना कौन सी बड़ी बात हो गई! हुआ क्या अगर जीवन भर का दाग लग गया? तीन मंजिला मकान तो बन गया! इज़्ज़त गई तो गई ,पैसा तो आया! ग़द्दार हुए तो क्या हुआ, अपना फायदा था लपक लिया! क्या होता है भक्तों की धार्मिक भावनाओं को चोट पहुंचाना? जाने किस बात का शोर  मचा रखा है ?

वो गाना सुना है ना ,"देते हैं भगवान को धोखा, इंसा को क्या छोड़ेंगे। कसमे वादे प्यार वफ़ा सब बातें हैं बातों का क्या। कोई किसी का नहीं है पगले...."  लानत है उनके इस जीवन पर। मंदिर के द्वार पर इज़्ज़त से जीवन यापन का सुअवसर मिला था पर उन्होंने धोखेबाज़; गद्दार; चंदा चोर बनना चुना!

मैकेंजी स्कॉट का नाम सुना होगा।  ये शायद कभी किसी मंदिर में न गई होंगी। कोई पूजा पाठ नहीं करती होंगी। कभी ऐमजॉन के संस्थापक जेफ बोज़ोस की पत्नी थी। दानवीर हैं; लेखिका हैं। अमेजन के 1.3% शेयर अभी भी इनके पास है। दुनिया की सबसे अमीर महिलाओं में से एक हैं। इनके पास लगभग 40 बिलियन अमेरिकी डालर  की संपत्ति है। साल 2025 तक अपनी संपति में से 26.2 बिलियन डॉलर दान कर चुकी थी। अभी तक रुकी नहीं हैं। कभी समय निकाल कर देखना एक बिलियन में कितने जीरो लगते हैं। और 26.2 से उसको गुणा कर देना। फिर 95 से उस रकम को गुणा करोगे तो रुपये में जो नंबर आयेगा गिन न पाओगे! मुँह खुला का खुला रह जाएगा!

कबीरदास जी कह गए हैं," साईं इतना दीजिए, जामे कुटुंब समाय। मैं भी भूखा न रहूं, साधु न भूखा जाये।। नहीं चाहिए एक इंसान को बेइन्तहा पैसा। अच्छा कर्म कमाओ। इस विदेशी महिला ने बता दिया धर्म, अर्थ , काम का क्या मतलब होता है। इन्हें मोक्ष कम से कम मुझ से तो पहले प्राप्त होगा। 

सब कुछ पैसे में तौलना बहुत महंगा पड़ता है। फिर ये हम पर निर्भर करता है कि पैसा हमे हमारी औकात दिखा देता है या कि हम पैसे को उसकी औकात बताते है। मैकेंजी स्कॉट की तरह हम भी बताएं पैसे को कि बस तुम दो रोटी की हैसियत रखते हो। आटे दाल की तरह मेरे चरित्र का भाव नहीं लगता; मेरी वफ़ा अनमोल है। मेरा वचन बाजार में नहीं बिकता! मेरा कर्म और कर्तव्य पैसे के परे है !

गाड़ियों की दुनिया का एक कॉन्सेप्ट है ,'lifetime ownership cost'. मतलब ये कि एक गाड़ी 15/ 20 साल चलती है तो कितना खर्चा खायेगी। आम तौर ये माना जाता है कि जापानी गाड़ियों का रख रखाव सबसे कम  और जर्मन गाड़ियों का खर्च सबसे अधिक होता है। टोयोटा की गाड़ी फोक्सवैगन की गाड़ी से महंगी मिलती है पर लोग फिर भी टोयोटा लेते हैं। पता है कि सालों साल जिंगा ला ला रहेगा। फोक्सवैगन आज कुछ बचवा देगी पर 2/4 साल में ही खर्चा करवाएगी और फिर बहुत खर्च करके भी मुफ्त में तंग करती रहेगी।

कर्म का भी कुछ ऐसा ही है। सद्कर्म करते समय उलझन होती है; महंगा लगता है; मुश्किल लगता है। पर ये सारा कुल जमा सबसे सस्ता पड़ता है, जीवन भर आराम से चलता भी है। दुष्कर्म बस करने में आसानी है! उस वक़्त फायदा भी दिखता है। कुछ मिलता भी है! बाद में सारी उम्र की परेशानी, निराशा और ग्लानि से निबटो!

सो स्वर्णा आटा लिया करें। महंगा जरूर है ; सब जगह मिलता भी नहीं पर सेहत के लिए बेहतर है।  एडेड शुगर  0% है। दूसरे आटे बताए बगैर 3% चीनी आपको खिलाते हैं! नमक और चीनी कम से कम रखेंगे तो सुखी रहेंगे।

सोचा आज शनिवार को आपको आटे दाल  का भाव ही बता दूं!

Fusion- Confusion!

AI Generated conceptual fusion reactor 

Flex fuel; hybrid and EV! Words pretty common these days. We are all aware of the current challenges with the fossil fuel. There is still a lot of it but wars, tariffs and muscular economic policies by the 'haves' nations have put serious challenges to the public; specially the "have nots"!

 

Electric motor was invented in 1821 by Michael Faraday. Yes; that was 200 years ago ! A battery was invented even earlier in 1800 by Alessandro Volta. An electric light was not  created until 1879 . Of course you know from that primary science book - it was Thomas Edison! That was really the turning point. Electricity increasingly became critical to human society. We now need it for ...... everything. From waking up to an alarm and using a battery tooth brush to toasting your bread and making coffee and iron your shirt. From Using your laptop for work  and cellphone for communication ; to using X Ray and other medical devices for health care ...... even those red, green and amber lights at every intersection. All things need electricity. Your gas pump needs it , municipal services need it to manage waste and pump clean water into your home. Your HVAC systems run on it. It was only time before personal transportation became dependant on it.

 

I am at an age where I have collected a treasure trove of stories. So here is a true personal one. It happened on 14th August 2003, exactly one year after I arrived in North America . The big blackout unfolded - largest power outage in history occurred ! Electric grid tripped and over 50 million people were without electricity. I was kind of used to this in India except I was no longer in India. Soon We realized that not only can we not drive anywhere because  there was mayhem on the roads without any traffic lights; we can not even sit at home and sip coffee! Why; because the coffee maker will not work and the stove and oven you are wondering about was........you got it. It was electric too. Fridge died; milk and other cooked food spoiled in the august heat and I had two little kids to feed. 

 

I walked across the street to the big grocery store in the strip plaza. They were open but not really open for business. I picked up a bunch of banana and tried to pay for it; the high school dropout cashier refused to sell it to me because her weighing  scale and the connected cash computer was no longer powered! She did not know how to complete the sale.  My mind was racing and my over active imagination was  dramatically picturing my kids crying of hunger! I went  up to the store manager, explained the situation and then proceeded to tell him how he can continue operation. Just use the manual spring scale hanging at every produce stall to weigh; multiply the weight by the price on a piece of paper like a grade 3 child  and ask for exact change from the customer. simple elementary task!  A light went on in his head. He thanked me profusely  like I was Einstein come back to life. Of course I got that banana bunch! Can you even imagine how cripplingly  dependent we have become on electricity? Some people can not even wipe their back side without it!  Hello! I am joking; everyone can !

 

Coal burning  power generation is seriously problematic. Hydro electric power is a lot better but its environmental impact and the high  dependency upon monsoons as well as Dam safety considerations are not insignificant. For stable sure power It is clear that we need to go nuclear. I know ,I know you are thinking Chernobyl ! Well there is risk in crossing the road too! We do it anyway by standing well behind the zebra crossing and wait for pedestrian lights to come up and then quickly walk across before it turns red.

 

Currently all nuclear power plants are fission power. What it means is that the reactors split the  unstable atom of a fissile material like uranium or plutonium resulting in the release of  massive energy which is then converted to electricity. Of course it comes with the problem of the need for long term secure storage of radioactive waste. Long term is really long term. Some isotopes have a half life of 2.5 billion years! No, I am not joking here. There is also the real danger of a nuclear meltdown when the process become unstable. Something like what happened in Chernobyl. It is not a lone incident. A number of other accidents, mishaps and misevents of various intensity have occurred already. 

 

What are our options then? Fusion is one. So what happens in a fusion reactor is that unlike fission reactor we combine two lighter nuclei into a single nucleus. Combining actually produces thrice the energy of a split. The good thing is it relies on hydrogen isotopes Deuterium and Tritium  instead of uranium. If you remember your basic chemistry you know water is 2 hydrogen and 1 oxygen; H2O. We can get a lot of hydrogen rather easily and then extract the isotopes. I am making it sound easy only because this technology already exists. Fusion reactors also produce helium as a waste. It is harmless. These reactors can not melt down. if the process malfunctions the reaction just stops.

 

There is currently one fusion power  plant and it is far far away.  There are a couple of technologies being perfected  for the reactor design including magnetic confinement and accelerated plasma. They are not yet ready to be operational. Every country that has the scientific resources is really working hard to get there. A few private players are pursuing the inertial confinement reactor design as well. No one has had complete success yet. A commercially viable fusion power plant is a work in progress .

 

Did I not tell you that there is  one plant far away? Yes there is one and it is called Sun! The sun ; our sun is a fusion power plant. Elon Musk is a pretty smart fellow and he believes we are unnecessarily trying to replicate on earth something which is already happening so efficiently in our neighbourhood. We should be trying to use the power radiated by sun instead! A good point I do not entirely disagree with. We should invest in efficiently harnessing power from sea waves; windmills as well as solar panels. Work on improving efficiencies of solar panel technology; power storage and distribution etc. etc. But there should be no confusion on the need for a fusion reactor.

 

I would like to have another sun! Wouldn't you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

Aah, Taj!

Taj by moonlight. AI's interpretation.

It is quite mysterious how Taj Mahal came to be the most known symbol of India. India is hard to define, harder to describe and hardest to brand!  On top of everything, asking for one single image to encapsulate it all.....somebody; most likely an alcoholic British colonial halfwit chose Taj Mahal and it has stuck.

Of all the amazing masterpieces of architecture India has; they had to pick this! Why had they not heard about the largest monolithic structure in the world; the kailasa temple? A 107' high building  site, two times the size of Parthenon at Athens; carved out of a single rock?

Part of the Taj story is the romanticism associated with the building. A king apparently got it constructed to bury his fourth wife Mumtaj ......oh; was it the third. Ok, 3rd then! There is no knowing how many wives, concubines, keeps and other subjugated women passed thru the royal chambers! Islamic love is hard to keep count of !

ShahJehan, according to popular belief  killed Mumtaj's husband to marry her. The evidence is a bit weak on that but it is historically proven that Mumtaj bore 14 children in the 19 years they were together and she died in childbirth! None of this 'permanently pregnant' status sounds like love to me!

I visited Agra first time on a grade 2 school trip. I do not remember much except the bus ride and the fact that a teacher scolded me for something which I do not recollect. There is no picture. I wanted to have my picture taken, since so many other people were getting clicked by the commercial photographers. I do not think we had a camera along. We were so little and it was more than half a century ago. It is pretty hazy! It was a day trip, we returned late evening and my mother collected me from school.

A couple of years later my maternal uncle tagged me along on a trip to Agra. This time we stayed overnight with a friend of my uncle. They were both completing their M.D. at Delhi. We did not see the Taj at night. This friend had a RolliFlex  film camera  and I asked for my picture to be taken. I posed , they clicked. It was a pretend click just to humour a child.  No individual picture ever got produced. You should never deceive a child! Being honest is not hurtful, it shows that you trust them with information. Simplify it, but tell the truth! It is also helpful if you can provide another option while denying one. It is very humiliating when you lie! Children know you are lying; as I did! Deception has a negative effect on a child's innocent mind! You are teaching them it's OK to lie! It is not!

One of the most beautiful sights in the world is a laughing child. One of the most satisfying thing in this world is being the reason for that laugh!

There is a B&W group picture from this trip somewhere that features me. It is somewhere but also etched on my heart. A young boy in shorts standing at an angle to the camera.  You see they could have easily told me this. " We will get a picture of everyone together", There, see how easy saying the truth was! I would have been happy and would never have remembered this bad lifelong experience of subterfuge! I do have a clearer idea of this trip. I remember sitting on a stone bench and eating. I was still too young to understand 'love' and that this place was the lover's ' Mecca'! 

As an adult I did see it in moonlight - eventually! A friend accompanied me on this occasion. We boarded a slow train and travelled on the upper berth from nizamuddin railway station to Agra. I liked this trip better because of the company. Although there were a few anxious moments and some disagreements. Not sure why! Anyway I saw it in moonlight and God knows I did not feel any romance in the cold building at all. Once you know the history of things , it is not possible to unknow it! It will colour all of your experiences going forward. Especially if that history was not exactly kosher!

Aga Khan award for excellence in architecture is prestigious and is held every three years. I designed the built part (there was a performance part too) one year it was held at Agra. There were a few different sites for different elements like seminars/workshops and winning design showcase exhibition ; in addition to the main award ceremony site; which was an open ground at a hotel called Taj Khema.  You can see Taj from its grounds. We used that view as a background  for 'no design high creative appeal' effect. Incorporating the free view into overall design / planning  did go rather well with the client's brief. It actually sold our project design.

I have to admit that Taj looks shimmering in moonlight from a distance.

I did travel a few times to Agra before that event for client meetings; site measurements; design presentations, contractor selections etc. however I never set foot inside the Taj premises. Even during the build process at various venues I just did not bother to visit. There was no time either and nothing was scheduled at the monument premises anyway. You might have guessed by now that I am probably the only person on this earth that is not a fan of  Taj.

Last time I visited though was so  very different from my previous subpar experiences. My daughter was set to go to university and her complaint was that she has no experience of 'India'!  "People think I am Indian. They ask me and I am blank. I have not even been to Taj Mahal", is how she put it. So we promised to show her a bit of India before she heads out to the uni. This time I went like a 'not Indian", which I certainly am not. I am not a not Indian. We booked an Agra  package. A vehicle  would pick us from our home in Delhi. We got a guide and we bought queue free express entry in Dollars. Guide tells you a lot of rehearsed non sense but it kind of makes the commentary nuanced. This was the  best Taj trip for me because my children enjoyed it. I skipped the gory history, as did the guide.

Remember what I said about bringing a smile to children! The  experience was made greater because the travel agent my son had booked online with had also included  a lunch in the price. Something we did not realize till our vehicle stopped at the restaurant.  It was one of the best meals I have ever had and trust me I used to work for Hyatt and for two and half years I only ate five star lunches everyday; and dinners too;  quite so often! I know what good food tastes like! 

That travel agent had done a good job with our booking. I met the guy at his inlay souvenir  factory. He was old money with several pies in the oven. This travel thing was one of his sons extra curricular activity. Old money are class- mostly; nouveau riche are crass -mostly !

 

No, I still do not see Taj as even remotely romantic. Firstly it is mislabelled. Taj Mahal means Crown Palace! It is an effing graveyard! Palace, are you serious! How on earth do you build a palace  on the foundations of dead bodies? You can only erect a grave stone on the buried. It is a big white Grave Stone with inlay work!  Who in their right mind would wander off to romance in a cemetery? Really who? Love and romance is associated with warmth, colour and exuberant joy! Not with a cold, white, barren marble tomb; made to mourn the loss of a beloved ! I do not blame the builders though! They designed it for the mourning king and to that extent it is doing its job. Their intention for it was never  to be a palace, much less a mecca of romance . It is a mausoleum. Would you ever use a mortuary building as a marriage hall ? 

 

Remember this in life too! You can not laugh by making others cry! You will never get peace by robbing others of theirs. A deceiver will get deceived in time! Karma is real. It may take a long time and it maybe one  lone person pointing at the  king that has no robes on; but some day, someone like me will come along and say it out loud!

'' The palace you made is your grave"! It is a grave! It is! It is!

 

Black & Bitter!

 

"Coffee Theory". AI generated

 

Some time ago a relative invited me over for dinner. Their son in law had returned from a business trip to silicon valley with a nice bottle of single malt and they generously thought of me as well. As his son was pouring the drinks for everyone he asked  how much water do we wish to add!

Nothing; I screamed !  It is an insult to this bottle! Their son in law quickly agreed with me. " Pour it over some ice cubes for us"! Our hosts were surprised!" Isn't scotch bitter" ? They were confused! "That's the whole point"; I said! Had to explain to them that a sophisticated drink like that needs to be sipped slowly in its full strength and swirled around  the mouth gently a few times before swallowing. You need to experience the heady aroma and smokey richness of the golden liquid  in order to fully appreciate it. It is not meant to be diluted ; hastily gulped down the throat ; get high fast and slink down from that chaise lounge in a drunken stupor!

They still added water to their glass; a lot of water! Ouch! There ; that was the coffee theory in real life! What! You have never heard about this theory? 

I joined a company and worked there for ten years. Early, around beginning of year two, It became clear that  hidden racism and inbuilt biases will not allow me to reach anywhere close to the  initial potential that opportunity falsely promised. I kept diluting my drink metaphorically! If not this year ,maybe next; or next! Tomorrow it will be better;  or the day after! Kept scaling back my goals; changing my targets; tried to branch out into areas of little interest, chop this, forget that..... nothing really was taking off and I stayed for another eight years out of fear;  ego; pride; confusion...! Absolute cowardly of me. I am ashamed, I should say! I made a hard decision only when there was no other decision possible!  They kept breaking one promise after another and kept me boxed in where I belonged in their estimation. I had to break out. It sadly was too late ,too little! I had flushed down the toilet a lot of prime time; become  a lot less desirable older hire and lost my professional edge. Serious costs of which I am paying on an ongoing basis. It is a self goal!

Had I accepted straightaway that it is a bitter pill  to swallow and made the decisions I made ten years later.... If nothing else I would have been richer than I am. Of course there were more aspects than money involved; but more  money is never known to hurt! Does it? 

They say that most of our troubles are because we resist what is ! That in a nut shell is the coffee theory. We add milk to coffee; it is bitter! We go on and add a bit of cream to it; it is bitter. We add sugar on top and amazingly it is still bitter! Just a different kind of bitter each time! We do all of this because we are resisting the fact that coffee intrinsically will be always bitter. We should drink something else ; good old tea perhaps!  

Do you know who buys art? Nobody! That's who! As an artist I realized it soon enough. Lucky for me as I adjusted to this bitterness in my own unique fashion  rather than get increasingly frustrated year over year and do something drastic like Vincent Van Gogh or Mark Rothko. I  am in awestruck admiration for both of these world famous artists and both committed suicide! I won't! 

If you go to Khajuraho  you can see that amazingly large complex of temples. Purely indescribable beauty and world heritage site of exquisite art, architecture and sculpture. Poetry in stone indeed! We  know some of the names of the architects and  sculptors that created the masterpieces. Vachchharāja;  Pahasaga; Deda; Jajega; Śrī Jasa; Chhichchha are some of them and there are others too marked here and there on the structure. How I wish I had a fraction of their talent! 

Understand that Chandel kings financed  this massive endeavour as their kingly duty to their subjects. No other axe to grind. In a way it was financed by public money since king collected tax from people. To his credit  he gave it back in the shape of these public buildings. Temples anyway were way more than a place of worship in Indian society. It was a social club ; a school and library; a repository of art, culture and wisdom;  centre for astronomy & celestial sciences; a grain storage and a safety vault of valuable assets; simultaneously with being a pious house of  God !

Kings do not exist any more! Art is bought by a few rich people to save and make money for themselves. So here is how it works: Someone buys a painting for let us say $1000. He keeps it in his basement for a couple of years. At which time he gets it officially appraised. The new value for the painting is determined. if it is up and it mostly is; the collector donates it to a museum. Let us say the new value is $ 10,000. Now the person goes ahead and deducts $10,000 from his taxable income. He keeps the $9000 profit and also gets the tax rebate. There is no aesthetics; culture, beauty, art or civic duty involved. It is a pure business deal and the donation sounds philanthropic to boot! Superb for PR! I kept the numbers small to explain the process and it takes years ; decades;  even  a life time and a lot of luck for an artist to reach that  initial stage where his work can get picked. Bitter but true! I am an artist what sugar can I add to this?

We unfortunately tend to sugar coat everything; dilute everything and resist every fact  staring us in the face. We keep quite about someone's obnoxious behaviour hoping that it will become better. It becomes a pattern and we learn  a new normal till it becomes worse! We do nothing till we have to burn the house down in order to bring some sanity. Trust me we can never come out unscathed or not singed ourselves! Our personal, professional and social life is rife with this malady. Most of the fault is our own!

Listen; if they wanted to, they would have! People, places and events always show themselves up in their true colours. Believe them the first time! We need to wake up and smell the coffee! It will always be black and bitter! Stop complaining or  stop drinking ! 

Coffee theory! 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Table for four?

 

                                    ' Table for four please', Digital illustration         

It was my final year of school. Exams were near. Its results would determine a lot about our future. Maybe some students cared a lot ; I was naive enough to care a lot less! Always romanticizing my life with my head a bit in clouds! Trusting fate and fantasy rather than facts! Which is a polite way of saying I was clearly an idiot. I  still am not exactly the sharpest tool in the box! Of course I have paid heavily for my idiocy in my life. If only I had applied myself  better on time..... Regrets; regrets; that is what life gets reduced to towards the end! Makes one understand why the final end of what you never ever wanted to end; seems such a relief! 'Regret' is what all  of it distills down to!

Anyway , our school sort of prided itself for a large number of students that passed out with distinction. My bad luck  that day was my English teacher Bhatia sir boasting in the staff room during lunch break. " Ashutosh is brilliant; I am sure he will pass with distinction"! Lal sir, my math teacher was livid; "That boy, absolutely no way ! he just does not work. I will be surprised if he just passes!" An argument followed and Lal sir, being the mathematician he was, decided to prove his theorem. unfortunately it was his class right after the lunch break!

I was alright with algebra and rather good with geometry. It was the reason I passed the subject. Lal sir however stormed into the class and straight away asked me to come up to the board. He wrote down a differential calculus problem and handed me the chalk! "Solve it", he thundered.  My heart sank as  calculus was my Achilles heel. I bravely started but got stuck after the third operation and despite a lot of prompting by my class mates - failed! Lal sir was ecstatic, I told Bhatia sir; I told Bhatia sir !"  

Next day Bhatia sir gave me a long lecture about time management and how I should dedicate more hours to practising math. He was wrong in the sense that he thought I am good with English because I work hard at it and I am not good with math because I do not practice enough!  Fact was, those days I never worked hard at anything, period! I had to really work my butt off later in life because I could not be bothered  to do so in time! The exam results proved both of my teachers right! While I was the top scorer of  English among all the schools in our district; I passed the math exam by the skin of my teeth! If I remember correctly I got 47/100. It is a good thing that the minimum passing marks were a mere 33/100. 

It was a different era. I did not attend one of those top private schools in our city. No Modern school for me; no DPS; no St. Columbus; not even Ramjas school! Our family could only afford a  government neighbourhood  school for me. Somewhere I could walk to. The school fee was 15 paisa / month as opposed to those upmarket schools which I remember were about  Rs. 25/month, equal to 2500 paisa. My father's entire monthly income was about Rs 125 after rent and taxes !  It however is quite fair to say  that I did not receive a bad education at all. Teachers cared a lot, students were treated as family.  I remember getting invited to a teacher's own wedding. As with most other things in life, money had very little to do with it, if at all.

Slowly money started gaining importance and it has now become the measure of all things. Love , respect, ethics , morals, right ; wrong .... all are measured with  money as a scale. There is a funny story - maybe not so funny! I had just landed my first job in Canada at a design company called Expographiq. It was based in Quebec and I was part of a small team in  the Toronto office. Anyway one day I saw my Vice President Fred Fox cleaning the office wash room. I was surprised but held my council. Later I checked and found that the toilet door has a list with all the six / seven names of people that worked there, including mine. They also had a day of the week in front of their names. I was a little sneaky but found from the office secretary that it is the duty roster to clean the toilet ! What  the @#%% !

I had never even seen that list and it was right by the entry door. Till that moment I had never cleaned a toilet in my life! Company wanted to save the  little money needed to  hire a cleaning service so we had to do it ourselves. Nobody else thought much of it; except me and I kept my mouth shut! That I thought was another way of thinking of your staff as your family. Of course, I can clean and unclog toilets now! I do most of the cutting and chopping in the house. I cook  from time to time and regularly do the dishes after dinner every day. All of this was unthinkable in families only a few years ago!

Who is part of your family? What does a family even mean? It all became clearer to me a little later ; in Walmart of all the places on earth. As I told you I am quite a  romanticizing, crazy  idiot! I still feel a person I would gladly have taken a bullet for, as my family; even though they were the one's that held the gun to my head! This person only exists in my memory too! What world do I live in ? Do not follow my example!

Anyway, I was in Walmart to buy an ice box. You mostly use it  during picnics to carry drinks. It's lid can be reversed to make a table. That table has a place for 4 drinks. I asked the Walmart guy and he told me I could get a bigger box but the lid would still have four indentations. That they have determined is the usual number of the picnic party. A family of four !

In my childhood, picnic meant hiring a big boat. Getting all the children together and sometimes their friends too. Invariably there always were a couple of last minute guests. Often times guest of the guests were also invited. Everybody was welcome as the long as the boat could safely hold them. A party of twenty was the norm. Four people; just four...... seriously!

Home I grew up in had an eight chair dining table. It was rarely used! We always ate together; we always had guests & the total number always was more than 8. So we sat down like a family on a carpet around  a  plastic sheet and ate! Picnic every day! young me resented it quite a bit those days. Today I see how valuable, innocent, kind, generous and pure those moments were! 

Russell Peters is a world famous stand up comic. His net worth is close to a billion dollars. His home is  not too far from us. He mostly lives in the US; his aged but lively  mom Maureen lives there by herself. Their next door neighbour are our family friends. Each time we go to their house Maureen is there. She is treated just like any senior respected family member traditionally gets treated in an Indian home. With love, & constant care! There are significant social, cultural, religious and economic disparities there. Maureen is not even remotely related to the Misri family. Is she their family? Absolutely yes ! It always warms my heart to see her! Their love and care for each other restores your faith in humanity!

You do not have to be related or even live in the same house to be a ' family'! Your hearts need to be on the same frequency though!  Otherwise  like everybody else I too have  experienced family members who are not 'family'! Several of them....my bad karma certainly!

That reminds me when I went to buy a dining table  at IKEA. Most designs were.... you guessed it! You can get a six person table too. There are fewer choices but the real trouble starts when you try for an eight seat kind. Things start getting rare. Any bigger and they start calling them banquet tables! Not dining tables anymore. Seriously! I anyway needed a four seater so I was fine. There are several table designs for two and the sales trends show them to be a  very popular choice.

Family as we know is getting smaller and smaller. Your parents are a different family. Your siblings are not part of yours. Of course your adult children have to look after their own family! Rings a bell! doesn't it ? Family is quietly getting reduced to two and I suspect trending towards one. You are  becoming your own family! Selfish, money minded  materialism has done this to us! We have destroyed the most cherished achievement of the human society - family!

A table for one ? Can there be such a thing? How would you go about designing that?

  

 

 

Best Before!

 Representative Picture

Himalayan salt is a rock that has existed for , what , a million years ; maybe 10 million. It has been there for a very long long time time, let's say. Yet when you go and buy some at the grocery store , the box it comes in shows a best before date. Usually about two years from the packaging date. How in the blazes does that happen ? It can not be right! Right? It did not expire for millions of years but it will  now that I have bought it! This sounds like a con , or does it?

I can understand this for bread. It will go stale and eventually develop mould and fungus. Milk will also spoil after a certain time, even in a refrigerator . Usually If we can not finish it in good time we  curdle it and make cottage cheese or warm it, stir in two spoonful of yogurt with active culture and let it set  in a warm environment. It soon becomes yogurt. Of course you know how this is done. I am not explaining the cheese making process using lemon juice or white vinegar. So you can re purpose milk ; but no matter what you do, it  no longer remains  milk.

Apparently everything in the world has an expiry date. Don't be alarmed  but the entire life in this world is also going to end.... in a billion years! As solar warming will evaporate oceans and make any life  impossible to exist. In about 5 billion years the planet earth will be entirely engulfed by  the sun! 

Imperial house of Japan is the longest ruling dynasty. It  has been ruling for about 1500 years. Pandyan dynasty in south India also ruled for 1500 years and is historically considered the longest ever to rule, world wide. Roman empire ruled for about 1400 years. There are other long duration regimes too.  They are all gracing the pages of history books.  Japan is an exception currently; albeit their monarchy is largely ceremonial. Actual power has expired long ago.

Can you really imagine Nazi Germany actually Planned  Tausendjähriges Reich;  1,000 - year rule. And we all know it  expired in 1945 after a mere 12 years. Despots usually are narcissists and vice versa. They refuse to see beyond their nose. They can not even imagine that they can ever be wrong and  are in fact just insufferable! Trump is thankfully limited to two terms other wise he thinks too highly of himself and his administration. The insolent twit actually demanded ; repeat demanded a Nobel prize for himself. When it did not materialize; he somehow conned or arm twisted the Venezuela's leader of the opposition to gift her Nobel prize medal to him. It is the same Venezuela that Trump had invaded earlier in the week. Trump is a certifiable Megalomaniac indeed whose best before date is long past!

Mamta Banerjee is quite another character. It was not a small feat to wrest power from a deeply entrenched cadre based communist regime of Jyoti basu's successor Budhadev. She started life as a crusader against corruption and successfully took over power in Bengal, 15 years ago. A bit like kejriwal in Delhi against Shiela dixit's corruption.

Corruption has an expiry date? Should be, but apparently honesty has one! Just like kejriwal lost badly in feb.2025 on corruption charges ; Mamta lost on 4 th may this year, mainly over corruption and matters of public safety. It was such a come down for the poster boy and poster girl of virtue , fairness and honesty! They both went down by brazenly condoning massive self serving corruption and lawlessness under their watch . According to person's in the know they themselves have became corruption  personified.

We have seen it before so many times. Narcissistic despots never learn. They are so full of their own BS that it no longer smells to them. Hitler never believed he was losing the war; until the last day when the victorious Soviet army tanks rolled into Berlin. He had to shoot himself to save himself the indignity of being captured alive .

Last time Trump lost his election, he became incredulous to the extreme. He claimed a stolen election and egged on his supporters to invade Washington DC. People are still facing legal consequences for acting impulsively and immaturely to Trump's advice. He of course is back in office creating more chaos in other parts of the world!

Kejriwal was stunned by the scale of his defeat  in Delhi. He has resolutely refused to look at his own fault lines; his endemic corruption and his massive bribe taking in the liquor scam. He simply shrugges accountability and  blames the defeat to the misinformation and propaganda of BJP!

Mamta is not an exception. Her acute sense of entitlement refuses to look in the mirror. She was running a mafia, not a government. In Bengal one could not even get their own house white washed without paying a bribe. Usually one had to engage an 'approved'  contractor suggested by the local trinamool party enforcer or else! People were scared to even speak out. She could jail; unbothered by democracy or law; a cartoonist for his cartoon; a professor for sharing a tweet; a journalist.......

Mamta did not read the label. Her expiry date was long before 4th of May 2026. She had already putrefied and was stinking to hell. 4th May was  Bengal's garbage collection day and People took the garbage out.  She was not planning to lose;  but she could not see that her time was up! There are indications I think; that she can re purpose herself into a  nasty little nuisance but she is not getting back her crown anytime soon. I think never; the opportunity she had  to govern was completely missed and misused by her. It has expired. Mamta  beyond her best before date is useless! Even the opposition will start keeping a distance from her. This defeat will effectively end her political saga.

Before you point it out let me preempt you! Yes; pure honey does not expire. It has an indefinite shelf life. Properly stored and sealed honey jars have survived thousands of years without spoiling! Nature is amazing really!

No! I have not forgotten about our rock salt question. You see  salt is like love. Eternal, unconditional and forever. Everything tastes better with a little bit of these two.

Sadly life is not forever. It ages and degenerates. Health challenges, social, financial, and familial conditions constrain  and deteriorate it inexorably. One reaches an age where very little can be held up, much less the massive responsibilities of love or a lot of salt for that matter ! 

I found out that the rock salt  actually does not expire; the carton it is packed in does. With age it starts degrading; disintegrating and contaminating the product it holds. Whole package has to be thrown out if not used in time. Honey for that matter is not indestructible either. You let it  loose and not cared for....... It too will spoil in  quick time !

What it teaches us that everything  in life has a best before date. Life itself has a best before date. Timing is everything. You  do the right thing;  on time or regret it forever! The voters of Bengal hit the nail right on the head! First chance they got! Good for them!