The Family Feast !

My grandmother Umawati died in her early forties. She had a rather short life sadly. My youngest uncle was eight. I was not going to be born for another four years and my father was a post graduate student. My youngest aunt was  yet in high school. My grand father was close to retiring from his job at the post office.

 

My grandfather had remarried as his first wife had passed  just a few years into marriage leaving behind a boy and a girl. Someday we will talk about these two but not today. This was my grandfather's one of the two major  regrets in life. His companions did not survive long enough and left him facing life alone! He confided this to my mother when she joined the household as the new daughter in law. He was not lucky in the matter of the opposite gender, should we say!  The other regret was that he could never beat 'Shav talang' in swimming as at 6'4" he was a full 2" taller than my grandfather.  Shav talang was a mockery of the name Shiv and came from raw envy of the length of his stroke; I assume!

 

If my mother is to be believed, " My grandfather was a loving, caring, intelligent  and a principled individual. He was quite broad minded as a father in law, specially for the era he lived in. He was very empathetic to the enormous responsibilities my mother as a nineteen year old young daughter in law had to shoulder from day one! A true father figure; my mother believes that his spiritual blessings are the reason we did well in life after starting with nothing in hand. 

 

Around this time of the year two stories always circle back in my mind; stories my father has told me. They are important and I' ll tell you how!

First story is from our village; Safapora. The village is on the banks of Manasbal. This is the biggest freshwater lake of India.  We all talk of this economic system and that system but our village had the perfect system. The system was fair to everyone and  this is how it worked: 

 

We had a bit of a land and grew paddy. So Rice is all we had but there  was a lot of rice. Another neighbour had no land and they worked on the lake growing lotus.  They had access to a lot of fresh succulent lotus roots.

Some others in the village had  nothing so they caught fish for a living. Some others grew oil seeds, or fresh vegetables from their little patch. Specially collard greens; hakh in Kashmiri. That is it, you get the idea. Village had everything they needed and no one needed any money or a shop to buy these items individually. A barter system was established by common consent so X amount of item 1 is equal to Y amount of item 2. It took into account fair wages for everyone and a fair price for your inputs in producing that item. You could exchange any good or service for the good you want. You wanted a haircut, just take along five lotus root stems to pay for it. If this sounds Utopian; it is. In a very good way! Nobody went hungry in the village and everyone had almost similar  plentiful nourishment. Even much later it was not uncommon to pay the teacher of your children in eggs! Society was inter dependent, cohesive and harmonious. 

 

Why I always remember this is because my father has always joked about small quantities of the menu items we have cooked for the feast after Shivratri. Herath as we call it is the biggest celebration in Kashmir Hindu society. Inviting Lord Shiva to your house; include so many other deities, bhairavs and celestial beings  and  celebrate his wedding with Ma Parvati is the height of Kashmir Shaivism. My father has always bragged about how his mother would barter 40 seers of paddy and get 8 seers of fish for the feast. Seer is close to a kilo gram, 933.10 grams to be exact

 

There are a few theories but generally it is believed Islamic invasion of Kashmir and their ruthless barbaric rule forced the society to add meat even into the worship rituals. The society caved in and did so in order to at least save their traditions and avoid forced conversions to Islam. About 90% of the population still became victims.

Although most people today have shunned the practice of adding meat to the main worship. It is considered a serious violation of the sanctity and purity of the ritual, forced on the Hindu community by the tyrannical Islamic rule as an insult to our faith and  as a running indignity for the Hindu society. 

 

The feast afterwards  still has non vegetarian items on the menu! No matter what the logic, the fact is that Sanatan Dharma is organic. It grows and modifies as the time and place changes.  Dharma as they say is informed by the era you live in and the geographical place you are at. It is not necessary to follow a ritual that has outlived its necessity. A lot of people I know like my family no longer has any meat of any kind during the entire festival including the  big feast for friends and family afterwards. We do think we have cleaned up our spiritual karma! What do you think?

 

Anyway the whole idea was to showcase what an non exploiter, egalitarian economic system is and how these micro economic systems were  self sufficient and infinitely better than the greedy consumerist capitalism or the disaster of the socialist central planning. 

 

Remember I told you about the passing of my grandmother. It happened late evening/early night during the bitter cold months; I forgot which month ! Apparently just after Shivratri festival if my memory serves me right. First thing in the morning next day; before even  the dawn had broken out; my father being the most available young man was tasked to fetch our priest ; Guru ji, in our parlance to preside over her last rites. My father trudged through the dark, slushy, cold  downtown streets to his house. Cold frozen muck smeared his thin rubber shoes; he was shivering in the bitter cold despite him carrying coal burning clay fire pot called Kangri under his cloak called  Feran.  It was dark still so he also took a torch and a stick to ward off stray dogs.

 

Guru ji was not home. His wife told my father that he had gone to the bathing ghats for his daily morning rituals. My father was surprised ... in this cold! Anyway he made his way to the river and got the shock of his life! Guru ji was praying mid stream in the icy cold half frozen river with just a loin cloth for cover. My father looked mesmerized as Guru ji took his own  time ; finished his bath unhurriedly and completed the entire morning chants and ritual worship before he finally came out of the water and  saw my father. Why are you here son, he asked?

 

On their way home he explained a little bit about discipline and how It is his duty as brahmin to be as pure physically; mentally and spiritually as  he could. Not only for his own journey in this world but for his "yazmans" ; people that depend on him to guide them spiritually  and conduct different Dharmic rites. 

 

Imagine; can you even imagine how honest this person was ? How dedicated; how unselfish ; how responsible to his calling ? I do not care what his knowledge of scriptures was; although given his behaviour I am certain he learned them with the same unwavering focus; dedication and pure honesty.  What a shining example he set for  the young man that my father  then was.  And it was all done by his choice of actions and not by some lofty talk. When I look at my father's life I can clearly see the  reflections of that morning of lessons that our family Guru ji imparted. Honesty is measured by what you do when no one is watching!

 

Where are such people now and how  in the blazes are we not more like them ? I do not have an answer or at least and an answer that I can squarely face! 

This story comes to mind every Shivratri because as the eldest son and the fact that my wife is a  votary of the traditional value system; my parents have handed over the responsibilities of Herath and several other yearly rituals of a Kashmiri brahmin  household to us. In fact everything  has been handed over to us.

My parents are thankfully here  and it is not my turn yet.  Trouble is they are  old and I am so inadequate! Nevertheless it is my responsibility now and I have to conduct the worship myself since no guru ji is accessible here. I always remember the story of our Guru ji wistfully ! Realization that I am short on physical, mental and spiritual purity; short on the knowledge of rituals; short on honesty and pretty much every other requirement, becomes so overbearing. 

Only thing that keeps us going is that no matter what; I can't fail my parents. These old traditions that our ancestors held on to even at the cost of their life and limb during the worst of hundreds of years of Islamic tyranny, slow exodus from our homes in the valley throughout centuries; suppression, cruelties, brutality, conversions and the barbaric Hindu Holocaust of the last forty odd years; should not be allowed to  die out. People have continued to follow it when they were living in leaking tents and had nothing! They never gave up when under the Islamic tyranny they could loose their head for just worshipping. They put just three walnuts in a small bowl of water and maintained the ritual even under most trying challenges, tragedies and personal crisis! 

I won't let it go! It wont happen! Not on my watch! They have named me after Lord Shiva too! I got to honour that! Remember we are not just this individual body. We are more than our body. अहम ब्रह्मासमी. "I am the cosmos" , says a saying. We are from God and we are part of our ancestors. If you actually read Sanskrit you'll realize a number of our rituals including the worship for Shivratri includes not our direct ancestors from both mother and fathers side. It also includes your in laws. It includes nature, animal kingdom, bees and flies too. I am not kidding! Our souls are close to many and we carry them in us even when our ego fails to recognize this.

 

I will do what I can with my apologies to all Guru ji's and of course with the knowledge that God is always benevolent and forgives our acts of commission and omissions. The tradition is bigger than I am and it will live!

 

आह्वानं नैव जानामि नैवजानामि पूजनम ।

पूजा - पाठम न जानामि क्षमयातं परमेश्वर ।।

(God; sorry, I do not know how to address you! Please forgive my ignorance of the principles of the ritual worship!)

I share this Watuk Nath with  all my friends , family and strangers. If you so wish you could  pray to it too  for an abundance of peace, wisdom, piety, kindness, wealth of  true friends and good health. In fact your prayers will complete what my worship has lacked! May Lord Shiva bless you!

Herath' Poshte'!