Happy B'Day J !

Well J I am going to ignore the confusion about the correct date of your birth! It is not important. Most of the world celebrates it on 25th Dec. and we will stick to it. Frankly my own real birthday is actually a month later than what my documents say. Happens a lot with a lot of people. Some a lot less great than you. so Happy Birthday dear! 

You are so lucky; yeah you are! You were born 2026 years ago and not in our times. It was probably a better time to live. You think I have lost my mind; don't you? Roman excesses, primitive  society, war, disease and such.....I know. Compare that with today and surprise ,surprise!

Nothing has changed. Just replace Romans with the power of your choice. Wars-check; disease - check; remember COVID. Primitive society- check ; actually worse as we are seeing it in Bangladesh, Gaza, Biondi beach..... If anything it is worse than what you were faced with. If you are impressed by technology , check what it has done to the simple joys of life. Commercialism ; materialism ..... Nothing recommends the present.

In your time Mary was kind of put on the pedestal for an ' immaculate' birth; in our time nobody cares about an unwed mother one way or the other. You think you had it tough in life? Listen, you are a carpenter , aren't you?  Try getting into carpentry school today! You'll be surprised how difficult it is. Especially for a person of colour such as you.  Ask those students from India who tried to get in but never got the opportunity for the trade. Instead they kept flipping burgers for three years and are now staring at deportation and a total financial ruin!

Tell me again how many companions you had and how many betrayed you? One Judas Iscariot out of the twelve , and you knew before hand too! That is a 8.33 % loss. I had only one. I trusted 100% with no inkling of what was coming. I was negotiating hard with my family to formalize this connection while they were betraying me with their married boss! Thank you very much ! It would have been quite funny if it was not so naive and tragic! Remember I did not have 12 companions. Since I had just no other option it is a 100% loss for me and I permanently damaged relations with most of my family as a bonus. Still think you had a rough time, do you? What is your verdict J ?

 

Do you know they started a new faith after you. Killed and maimed in your name to spread the faith too. Made people and nations slaves in your name. Someone who ironically came to free everyone of their sins. You, king of Jews ; a Jew himself; was the inspiration for murdering millions of Jews as 'Christ killers'. Doesn't that make you throw up in disgust? Isn't it lucky you did what you had to, so long ago?

Your trials and tribulations ended on the cross at the age of 33 or at 36 years of age; as some scriptures say. I am almost twice that age with a few more to go! And  Do not even get me started on your crown of thorns. I had a person as the crown. Lost it! Got  left with left over thorns. Thorns everywhere; Thorns through my heart too. And all I was looking for was a rose! One single rose !

I know you carried your own cross. Just look around. Can you not see that today everyone is bearing one of their own . We all are; trust me! You at least got taken down from the cross after they nailed you to it. You reportedly went to heaven from there. Good for you! We are all still here. Still trying to make any sense of it all!

My friend, nobody gave me a second glance, much less take me down.  I am condemned to carry my cross forever; still nailed to it.  Neither dead nor fully alive.  Neither sad, nor happy. Neither confused, nor fully aware.  Neither feeling detached , nor do I fully belong. Missing what I can never get!  Neither fully healed , nor fully defeated! I can only achingly long for a world that could have  been a pleasurable heaven and entirely mine!  Instead  I am existing in this twilight zone. It is hellish for the most part. At least for me.

Luke 23:34 tells us about forgiveness even under intense pain and untold suffering. So bible tells us that you prayed, " Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing". Great job indeed! We should all learn compassion , kindness and high ethical values from it.

J can you send me a prayer of forgiveness  as well. Something that I can recite for them. Only in my case they knew exactly what they were doing. They planned , plotted , lied through their teeth and  they went ahead to turn the knife in! You got a prayer for that ? Come on, I will repeat after you," Father forgive them for...... for.... come on!!

OK do not stress ! I know it is kind of a tall order but I thought maybe you could find the words since you are supposed to be the only son of God. I on the other hand ,am just an ordinary person; not 'only' and a 'son of man' to boot. I do not expect me to be God! 

Trust me; all in all you have had a good deal compared to what I deal with every waking moment .

Tell me what can we do here? No rush I have waited  decades and I can wait till my last! Today accept my greetings of the season and enjoy your Christmas. Happy Birthday! Please be sensible in that new year party! There is partying in heaven ? Isn't it ? 

 

Just asking!

 

Denim Jacket!

Representative Picture 

By the time I reached grade 9, I had developed an awareness for fashion and things. Movies did  help in the sense that they  showcased all that is in vogue! I regularly watched foreign movies and read a lot of western books and magazines  that I had access to. Marlboro man with his hat, jeans and jacket was almost my hero. Almost; because Marlboro is a cigarette brand and I never liked the idea of smoking. It has always been very disgusting to me!

Among the things I wanted was a Swiss army knife; wrist watch with digital numerals; leather shoulder bag, sports shoe called Gola shoe in my childhood,  track suit from Adidas and above all a  blue denim jacket from wrangler! There was this store near Regal cinema in Cannaught Place.... I had it all figured out!

All those items on my wish list had one thing in common - expensive! They were all beyond my reach as a piss poor student. Given my nature I did not broach  the possibility of purchasing  anything from the list with my family. I knew they did not have the resources, it would just embarrass them! I carried my wish list in my heart for a long time.

 

When you are young time is all you have, nothing else! Smart people use that time effectively. Educating themselves; planning their activities; making good choices and preparing for future. I was not exactly smart. I was too emotional and I still am; did not have any guidance either and I choose things unwisely; only using my heart and very little brain. Nevertheless I finished my student life; started in my profession on a high note and gained funds to fund my wants. Out came my wish list promptly.

 

First thing I got was a leather messenger bag. We two became inseparable. Even when there was nothing to carry I carried that bag. Maybe it was a sign from universe that I will have to carry a heavy baggage all my life ! Interesting what insights passage of time affords  oneself !

I do not like to wear a watch, just wanted one. So that digital watch I got a few years later. From my first trip abroad. In fact I got a few. Some I gifted to family some I kept. None of them have survived the ravages of time. Although  I still have an 80 year old vintage Favre Lueba in working condition; the kind you wind up by hand every day and tally the time by listening to the radio. This originally belonged to a grand parent who handed that out to an aunt. This aunt did not like the visibly masculine design and she traded it with my mother's  ladies wrist watch . My mother promptly gave the watch  to me. I was 14 years old and I have had it since.

 

Shoes are a weakness usually reserved for ladies ! I am that exception. Given a choice of picking one thing among several of equal value I would choose...... you guessed it! I got that Gola shoe pretty quickly. In fact sports shoe is the first kind I got when I started buying for myself. So checked that off my list in short time. I have a dozen shoes and some pairs do not even come out of their box for months but I have them! If I had space I would probably collect another dozen! That's one of my weird quirk even I do not understand fully! What is the tie between shoes and me? Maybe another sign from universe signalling what is fated for me. Shoes will keep raining on my head, perhaps !

 

I had a blue track suit I remember. It still is someplace in our walk-in closet. I got some other sporty apparel from my foreign travels. Eventually I got older and also realized I am not exactly very sporty. Now I eschew that full track suit; just buy the top and ditch the lower. Smart, isn't it? In Ku'Damm area of Berlin there is a store that sells only knives. Amazing store indeed. I got my Swiss army knife there. The knife is cheekily called " The Night Manager"! I am not kidding! That is what it is called! So that's my list all Checked out.

 

Yeah I know ; the denim jacket! Well.... I do not have it, not yet! Maybe some day, maybe not ! There is a back story that may not be  too comprehensible to you but the fact is that only today it has finally dawned upon me as to why I have not bought it. So there is a small pavement bazaar on Janpath in Delhi. Long time ago I saw an Indian style ladies shoe called jutti . It was deep red toned and had an amazingly colourful Rajasthani folk design hand embroidered on it. As usual I imagined it on my special person. Something I still do for everything I like. I still remember the shoe was priced 50 Rupees. Usually you could haggle the price down a little as these sellers expect it too! I would have bought it instantly but stopped short since I was unsure of the correct shoe size.

 

So my plan was to buy the shoe which would look sensational paired with a blue denim jacket on my person.  I decided that next time we are together I would buy denim Jackets for both of us as well as the shoe and possibly some chunky silver jewellery to go with it.  My special person could approve the fit and design for both of us. It was a good plan!

 

Only, Next time never arrived!

 

I have almost bought the denim jacket dozens of times since ! Every time I have gotten out of completing the purchase on one pretext or the other. This happened yesterday too at the store. I saw the jacket displayed; I got pulled to it as if by magnet; I told myself ," you are too old for this "; I walked away!

 

At home I dissected my own behaviour and really looked at how many excuses I have given myself for not getting it; from 'it does not fit' to 'It is too expensive' and 'I do not like the design/ material'! I have gone through all of them and recycled the excuses a few times too! 

 

It is hard to face your own frailties and immaturity! The real reason hiding behind the facade of my excuses  is my very ambitious purchase 'Next Time'  plan that I gave myself 40 years ago! It sounded very doable and sensible  at the time. I am afraid denim Jacket will be have to rubbed off the list since it can not be checked out.  'Next time' may arrive only in next life and who knows in next life if these kind of clothes are still in vogue!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Middle Finger!

AI generated caricature of Frank Gehry 

You think looking into a mirror is easy? Mirror as a metaphor for people, situations, memories, plans, actions, words.... No it is not that one can not face the mirror ; that is the easy part. Mirrors generally are benign, empathetic and even benevolent at times. It is what the mirror reflects back, that is bloody uncomfortable! Specially what it says about who you really are as a person. Truth be told one is in fact dead scared to face oneself! That makes people look away, avoid, run and hide from a mirror.

You can of course show the middle finger to the mirror! Not everyone is as lucky though. During a press conference in Spain a journalist did ask Gehry to comment on the criticism that his Bilbao museum design is more of a "show off"! Gehry gave him the middle finger! Plain refused to look in the mirror.

Gehry was the pioneer user of 3 D design software originally developed for the space industry. His parametric design language completely turned the "Form follows Function"  dictum on its head. Curvilinear  sculptural form came ahead with  function adapted to it almost as an afterthought. His use of non standard material like titanium added a level of exclusivity to his projects and therein lie some other criticisms around project costs; longevity of the buildings and maintenance challenges.

Gehry worked unbothered by the noise. Although his work has been labelled deconstructionist , he hated labels and considered himself to be an artist with his work as his creative expression. To share a secret with you ; I think of his work as a super sized sculpture too. Trouble is sculpture does not have to function as a building. Should a building function as a sculpture?  I fully appreciate and recognize Gehry's great standing in modern architecture but I am unsure if it  essentially is where architecture should be heading. There; I said it! I  hope no one comes after me with hammer and tongs. Well Gehry just passed or he would have flashed his middle finger at me!

Ancient scriptures explain what 'Dharm' is? It is simply doing what is right ! "Right", is informed by Desh and kaal; ie the location you are in and the time period you are living in. We were given an intellect and an instinct which we are required to educate, hone and sharpen all the time. It will show us what is right and what is not. It always comes through in my experience. Largely we ignore the little voice in our head at our peril!

Some times it is alright though. You should choose oneself and show a middle to what is troubling you! You should gather the courage to strike out a different path even when you are on it all by yourself. Show a middle to the company that leaves you mid stream one way or the other. Challenge here is false pride & inflated egos that cloud judgment. 

There is just a thin line between self respect and selfishness; between reason and excuse; between being carefree and being careless;  between love and manipulation; between being assertive and being aggressive; being sagacious and being scheming; and certainly between being careful and being a coward!

May God grant the wisdom and honesty of this distinction to everyone! May everyone really love what they see in the mirror!

And just on that note today I was gladdened to see a little boy and his younger sister being walked home from school by their mother as I was parked by the sidewalk. Both children were picking up snow by the fistful; rub it onto their clothes; throw it down; repeat; laugh; wade in the next little snow bank after two steps; lie down in snow after another step; get up cuddle their mom..... all in the space of ten meters that I could watch. Without actually showing a middle they were showing a middle to cold; a middle to worries; middle to undue haste and a middle to all pretensions! 

Do you think such sterling innocence will ever be afraid to look in the mirror?   

 

 

 

More or Less!

Germany has contributed immensely to the human intellectual and cultural capital throughout the ages. Right away one is reminded of Einstein ; arguably the greatest scientific mind ever. Emmanuel Kant; Hegel; Nietzsche and Arthur Schopenhauer are indisputably the pillars of modern philosophy. It would not be amiss to add Karl Marx to the list as well. 

 

Bertolt Brecht; Goethe; Franz Kafka; Friedrich Schiller and Guntur Grass are  well known luminaries of world literature. Any reference to classical music would be incomplete without mentioning Beethoven; Bach; Brahms; Wagner and Mendelssohn. Each name is literally carved on the list of great world composers.

 

You might have guessed my fascination with the German intellect.  Fact is that most of my own work ethic and design language is highly inspired by it. I have learned immensely  by working on projects in Germany and  I am quite indebted to those opportunities !

Bauhaus, which literally translates as 'construct house' was a German design movement during early part of the twentieth century. It was not limited to architecture but extended to interior design, furniture design; typography and graphics as well. Actually there is a font called Bauhaus too. Just do not tell anyone that I dislike it! This movement believed in rational; functional aesthetic and simple clean lines with nothing superfluous or ornamental . Form followed function. This was nothing short of revolutionary and maybe the most important advance in the theory of design - ever.

Architect Walter Gropius established this school of  design ! Nazi Germany had sadly other ideas. They promoted classic ostentation. Bauhaus's aesthetic was considered an effeminate sparsity. Obviously it ran afoul of the Nazi understanding of what constitutes a master  race Germanic design.  They  brutally shut it down. Walter sailed for safety of the US shores!

 

"To be or not to be", Shakespeare asked this fundamental question in his play Hamlet. Should one continue living and face the harsh vicissitudes that living entails  or end it once for all and be at peace ! Existential question indeed!

 

Walter added a principle for the living: "less is more"! Essentially it means that focusing on fewer quality activities will lead to beauty, meaning and effectiveness. What more can we do? What ought to be less?  To paraphrase Hamlet- more or less, that is the question!

Ludwig Mies Van Der Rohe actually applied it in several fields of design including architecture and  has been immensely successful. Some times this kind of work is referred to as minimalism. Personally I do not like that term. It somehow feels miserly ; like an pejorative. As if some elements are missing on purpose ! Actually a design that follows "less is more"; is complete in all aspects. In fact there is nothing there that is not required to be there - simple! 

 

More recently architect Richard Meir; a Pritzker prize winner, has designed several iconic buildings which I feel adhere to "Less is more" rule. I like his clean , crisp, white and  sharp work immensely.  I am  a visual artist and an exhibition designer primarily so I will not comment on the architectural details.  Purely in visual terms I can easily see a direct connection in his elevations with Bauhaus school of design. Diametrically different from other contemporary stalwarts like Frank Gehry or a Zaha Hadid  for that matter.

 

IKEA understood the potential. They bring  clean design to good people. Walk into a store and you can see 'less is more' applied to industrial design with a Nordic flavour. In my experience public loves the offerings and is very receptive of the practical beauty of no nonsense Swedish design.  I personally have several items, from furniture to cutlery and floor covering to lights that I really love.

Can we apply this mantra in our day to day life? Yes; more Biophilic design! I know ,I know sometimes there are unnecessary big words! Do not let it dissuade you. All it means is a design that nourishes your relationship with the natural elements. Simply put green space, plant life and natural elements need to have an expanded role in public spaces, interiors and architecture. It is being done extensively in the west; Where they are not so desperately in need of it. They are doing it because it should be done! How about India? 

 

You may have heard of Peter Singh and Nino Kaur. This couple have achieved an indoor AQI of 10 ; when the outside numbers are north of frighteningly toxic 500. This is in Delhi of course. This couple reside in Sainik farms,  where they  grow fruits and vegetables organically in their green house using innovative techniques like hydroponics. They have created their own sustainable and nourishing micro  environment. More green equals less pollution. Apparently they even make a pretty penny by selling what  produce they can not consume.

 

I know what you are thinking! Not everyone can afford to live in Sainik farms. If you have a roof   you can start an urban farm at a very low cost; about INR 5,000. There are several people that have done it already and some are willing to help too. If you prefer there is an entity called Living Greens that claims to have set up 4000 such farms in 25 different cities. If you have no access to roof, there are balconies and if all else fails there are indoor plants. Snake plant; available easily is one of best options to improve indoor air quality and who has not heard of money plant ( Pothos Jade) and ferns. All great choices. The thing is we must make more of an effort and depend less on some messiah to come relieve us of pollution. Imagine if everyone did what they can......

 

When nothing is going my way I always remember my Grand Father for inspiration. So in his last days he was bed ridden and clearly no hope of getting well. He wanted to read Ramayan ; a scripture in Hindi script that he did not know how to. He asked one of my uncles to read it to him. After a few times My grand dad realized he is wasting his son's study time  by not asking him to stop recitation for  upwards of an hour. He decided that his son will stop reading to him, instead he will teach him the script every day for half an hour. He passed soon after and I am not aware what progress  he made in his learning before leaving this world. Missed asking my uncle , who has passed too! But  this was a  man that never  flinched from doing the right thing; never stopped improving; never gave up  ; never wallowed in grief at his dire circumstances and remained fair to people around him even at a personal cost . He knew what to do less and what more is apt. I wish life gave me more time to learn from him. 

There are other examples if we care to look closer to present times. Indian Idol's season 16 is on air. A contestant Abhishek Kumar is doing very well. If you look closely you can literally see his impoverished circumstances. You can see his working class background with father a street food seller. You can see his ordinary dress; cheap glasses and small town demeanour. No, none of it matters. He has put less stress on what limits him and focussed more on what elevates him - his music. He is providing meaning to his life. He is talent rich and achieving his goals. What more do you want from life?

If ever in doubt, just remember to focus on what you do best and leave the rest. Act; doing nothing gets you nothing. Less is more!