The Thing Around Your Neck!

Surprises can be very predictable as coming events do cast their shadow before. We can all be a little bit of a Nostradamus if we try. At least some of the  times. So Indian election are over and the result was surprising only in the sense that so many people were actually surprised by it! In fact they were surprised by the fact that they never  believed that it will be as surprising as it turned out to be.

It has taken them a while but people of India  have finally realized that bringing in minority governments election after election has done them incalculable harm. It has vitiated the political atmosphere and given rise to serious policy paralysis. It has encouraged horse trading and deal making; substituting tokenism for governance. It  has institutionalized poisonous vote banks and given rise to endemic corruption at massive scale that has eaten away at the nation's vitals - all to the detriment of people. So this time around  people;  the real owners of the country , snatched the country back from the middle men; commission agents and hustlers of public interest by simply pressing a different button on the electronic voting machine.

It must be the sign of the times. It is the age of the internet. Individuals are slowly taking over control of their lives. They  are ceding some too but that's another story. Most of us remember the good old days when you had to get out and travel to the nearest retail outlet if let's say you wanted  a shirt. You would go there and choose one from 'his' limited stock and pay him 'his' price. The shopkeeper was smart and he would sweet talk you  to believe that you got a good deal. In reality he sold what he had and you paid what he wanted you to pay. On top all sales were final.This retail model is slowly taking a beating in today's world. Now you can and should go online, compare several suppliers and look for the most economic deal. You can also talk to other users and get a feedback on their experience with the supplier. You order it online if and when you are satisfied and you do not need to go anywhere. Your order is usually delivered to you at your door step in short time.

Retailers are not very happy about it though. In fact one of my friends who in the past made a pretty penny selling large screen tv's in a big retail store for years is soon to be out of a job because hardly anyone buys from a physical store and that outlet is shutting shop. Customers shop online and mostly get a better deal. Sadly he is not making enough commissions to pay his bills any more.

Similarly we have this background groaning noises now being made by those very cutthroat mobsters who were selling their captive voter's interest for their own benefit for years. Their business model is shot to hell by this election result.They can't swindle any more. Some dealers had an exclusive tender for one or the other group of people; some had a special shop for  poor. Some had the dealership for this caste , some for  that caste and some had a dedicated showroom for different caste combinations. Oldest dealer in town had the sole franchise for 'secularism'; newest had the one for 'honesty'.  All of them are out of a job because voters went hi tech; talked to each other; got together to make a bigger pool and chose a source that arguably has some warts, but comes with very good customer references; nice fresh extensive  stock and verifiable value for money. Well .....tough luck Shylock !

Institutions and organizations like individuals have to bear their own cross. They all know it. What is harder to come to terms with is that we all have to carry our own millstones around our neck too. Big enough to sink us. It is not our challenges that does us in ; it is our own lack of foresight; faulty planning; inadequate preparations and an inability to take tough decisions that sets us back.

Congratulations are due that after decades of non performing coalition  governments, India has taken a right turn - in all senses of the word ! Surprisingly they now have a coalition opposition instead. I am not so sure how that will  pan out in the end but  in the coming months we are likely to see a lot of churning in their ranks. Some will fall by the way side , some will switch their side. A lot of heads will roll and  some roles will reverse. A new  opposition leader may emerge even though today they are facing a crushingly morale sapping and monstrously comprehensive defeat.  Hopefully it does soon; since someone will be needed to keep a tab on the new supplier. 

Although she has a long five years window but it would be interesting to see how soon will  Priyanka Gandhi look down and realize that the millstone around her neck is a four letter word called vdra.

Cat's Nine Lives !

 

six weeks old "Ardene" 

Many decades ago as a little boy I wanted to be a tank commander. I had visions of myself riding atop a noisy green tank, barreling down the street and letting go a shot from time to time. Strangely in my visions I never had an enemy firing back at me. Some time later I switched my vision to becoming a fighter pilot. By grade five I was clear that I will be a fast bowler; hurling one toe crushing delivery after another at the hapless batsmen. It all however began some years before. As soon as I was born some doting adult envisioned that I will grow to become a doctor so that became my nick name. It stuck for years till it became apparent around grade six or seven that though doubtful , I may amount to  some thing but a doctor can not be one of them. Not with the grades I get in science and mathematics. Well turns out that I became none of the above. All these dreams were fascinating while they lasted but they were childish and so long ago that it seems like it was another life. Maybe if I had the proverbial nine lives of a cat............

Well we do not have another life. Even cats do not have another life. Their nine lives are a myth substantiated by the fact that they are agile and seem indestructible as they kind  of always land on their feet. Humans do not have that luxury. We can and usually do land with a thud. At times it is hard to get up again - ever. 

Kejriwal reminds me of my childhood. He does not seem to know what he wants to be. A PM or a CM ? A CM who sits in protest against his own government to send two lowly cops on leave; or a CM that calls himself an anarchist who will not  respect the sanctity of the republic day ? A provider of free water and half rate power? A common man; a con man? A crusader against corruption perhaps - but his original target Shiela Dixit is currently enjoying the power and prestige of a state governor. All those papers that kejriwal used to show as proof against her have vanished and with it has vanished his will to follow his accusations up. He has found new things to do. Past ten years that UPA has been in power were marked by one massive scam after another ; kejriwal can not see them. He has to take a three day tour of Gujrat to find corruption.

One day he declares that he will fight against Modi in Varanasi. In the afternoon he changes his stance to include "if people ask me" and by nightfall he declares he will fight him from Vadodra as well.... oops! No , no; not from there . Ah, at least for the time being ! It seems that he is like my little kitten jumping here , running there and taking a leap from top of the staircase. Climbing the house plant ,digging the soil out and clinging to my trousers and scratching my leg with her sharp paws. Yeah ! he acts a lot like her  just not so likable. And he does not have those nine lives. In a month or two  when he falls he will not land on his feet like Ardene does.

Honeymoon !

Honeymoons are kind of dreamy ; surreal ; out of the world and  exhilarating . In short they are quite an interesting event. Both for the participants as well as for others around it. Trouble with it is that they simply do not last very long. Reality hits quite too soon and you have to wake up to the truth. Years ago I went on one myself. Third day into it  and we sat down for a nice candle lit dinner in a beautiful hill station when it happened!  My new wife lovingly served me from the cheese dish she had ordered...... and wrecked my dinner. Well I abhor the stuff and I reacted  sharply with my usual acidic humor ; she felt insulted and started crying in her usual manner. Realization of what we have got into and will have to live with ,dawned on both of us that very instant. It was a huge revelation. There, that was the end of that romantic evening and with that our honeymoon went out the window.

It happens in public life too. Vinod Binny found it recently. His honeymoon with his aam aadmi party lasted for about 24 hours after that party came to power. He realized that this is not the common man's party he had been fighting for since last year or so ; and his party realized that Binny is  the kind of a common man they do not like and they would rather divorce than let him voice his uncommon  opinion. They have thrown him out. This honeymoon is done. Well Binny  may join the club headed by Anna and Kiran bedi.

Common man of Delhi is already in process of  waking up from the vivid dreams they had of getting their power bill slashed in half and  turning the tap and finding water streaming out. Water which is free at that. It is turning out to be quite a pipe dream.How can one even believe in such a dream is beyond me but anyway give it time and every dream eventually ends. Dream of ending corruption is another one. So nobody asks why does a beat constable ask for a bribe? He does so because his Inspector asks for one. Who asks for it  because his boss and his boss's boss does too. This does not stop till it reaches the very top. Unless you stem the source, this corruption will never end.

How beneficial is it go to war ;bring an entire city to stand still ; create a constitutional confrontation; threaten civil disturbance and disobey  existing laws? All to send two lowly cops on leave! Obviously it will not stop corruption or  give even a small relief to the common man. It is not even cost effective ;  it  however takes a disastrous hue when this crisis is  precipitated by a newly minted Chief Minister of all the people there are . Such heavy weights ought to go for the big fish of corruption. Big fish they promised to catch before they got elected! Why do they not do so is anybody's guess. However I suspect that being in power at the mercies of those same corrupt  to the core lot has something to do with it.

People have to pay the price of going to honeymoon with Kejriwal before dating him awhile. Turns out that he is the only  good man left on this earth that you must agree with or else! Turns out that he is intent on breaking apart and smashing everything in sight in order to bring about an order that no one knows anything about. Least of all he himself. He has a law minister that respects no law; a children's affairs minster that lodges a police complaint against a child playing cricket and a party muse that thinks nothing of telling sexist and racist jokes publicly.  His entire caboodle seems like they are running around like headless chicken. Loose tongues; aimless illegal actions and vague ideas are combining in a murderous cocktail for the common man. He is failing miserably in  governing one city but  planning to be the Prime Minister of 1/6th of all humanity.  Failing which he will be very happy if the government formation can be brought to a stand still because the general election mandate has been fractured! Who else wants to have an anarchist? At least it is not me.

India needs to improve upon systems, laws, policies and methods. Progress demands vision; a strong will to act and a proven model to follow. You can not achieve it by breaking laws and making people beggars. Beggars that are looking for "free" things to survive. Progress is achieved by enabling people to make their lives better by providing jobs. It is achieved by improving infrastructure; access to education and healthcare.It is achieved by making clear laws and following them. In the coming months there will be another chance for people to wake up. Dream merchants will come peddling their wares again. Check their vision , check their record. Dreams do attract but it is the reality that matters in the end. Do not vote for the scam ridden corrupt lot; do not vote for people that take corrupt for a friend. Do not vote based on caste ; creed and vague disruptive ideologies. On this republic day think about the country and think about how we can make it better. Let the honeymoon be over and start living the truth or you'll regret it for the next five years. Please!

If you are wondering what happened to my marriage after my honeymoon fizzled out. Well , you do not want to be in my shoes because nothing much happened! Life took over from that moment onwards and at the time of writing I  am still married to the same individual. All I had to do was develop a thick skin that is kind  of immune to tears and a pair of ears that are deaf to periodic doses of tongue lashings . And most importantly I had to learn to love a lot....... a lot of cheese!

Yet another Messiah!

There was nothing in the beginning. As humans started to appear among other animals; they acted alone. Individuals lived by a personal and primal code. They related to each other and even to other animals on a needs only basis. Most other times they preferred to interact with natural events; natural forces and with their physical environment. Life was simple, needs were basic and everything one needed to live was within the scope of one's own exertions. If one needed anything , one could go out and get it. If one needed to be saved from anything , one would go out and save oneself or perish in the attempt. Well; things did not remain so for very long.

Humans developed bigger brains, as well as their ability to speak and got an analytical system of processing information. Almost overnight they switched en mass into a different zone, leaving behind every other species that roamed the earth. Seeds of the trouble were sown at that moment. Humans were no longer just another animal!

Soon they learnt to live in groups; at times violently competing.They learnt to cultivate their food and build shelter for themselves. Things were still not that bad. Most everybody was his own farmer; his own hunter; his own baker; his own doctor and his own architect. This moment was the pinnacle of human progress . Everything since then has taken them south. So really what happened in the human history is that some people got good at one thing or the other and either decided to specialize or got forced by circumstances to specialize. I do not know what . But in the new order of things you were no longer your own farmer if you were the butcher. Or your own builder if you were the doctor.... and so on. So a power struggle ensued. Some groups had more power over others as they decided to use war or trade or even religion as a controlling tool. At times they controlled water sources or trade routes or even natural resources. Politics in its broader meanings had come to fore and these controlling acts  continues to this day.

Where a handful of simple red ochre  dust applied to oneself connected them with the "unknown" ; their ancestors and the nature and brought them solace and spiritual connections. Now It was no longer enough to do so. Faith got organized . Rites and rituals got codified and virtually written in stone. Unknown and the nature coalesced in the concept of "God". This became another potent tool to streamline and control societies. Humans lost individual control of their spiritual world as well.

All of these developments and the interplay of these new forces turned  humans into  dependent weaklings and gave rise to a new radical concept of "The Messiah". Someone that will come and deliver us from our wants and our shortcomings; since we can not do anything ourselves anymore! Every society and group has seen countless numbers of messiah's throughout history. Some declared themselves to be such; some were anointed such and some acted such. With so many of them batting for us ; why on earth have our problems multiplied ? The fact is that Messiah concept does not work and is not likely to work. No body and no one can get rid of your challenges until you act yourselves. Whenever someone promises to do so , be alert because you'll only get distracted;  further divided and end up deeply disappointed. Messiah's keep rising because we  keep looking for them. They will continue to exploit this longing in the human mind and humans will probably never stop hoping for miracles!

Even when all line losses; distribution snafus ; obsolete equipment ; graft and corruption are mitigated ,there is not enough power generated that'll allow for a lower tariff. Sufficient potable water is not available that could allow for  free distribution. If and when it is done  it can only be on a selective basis; with an eye on the potential vote bank and will create haves and have nots. Even this very minimum will have a staggering cost. Cost  which is coming right out of your pockets ;unless you make some other sacrifice where there is not much left to sacrifice . More importantly it does not even begin to address the fundamental challenge of generating stable and plentiful power for everyone or putting in place effective water resource management. If you do not solve the basic question with a strong resolve and long term view; these very issues will get bigger and bigger , as they have over the years. Even beyond the reach of such band aid solutions. Just forget about being delivered you are likely to sink deeper into the cesspool and soon.

Pied pipers always play a melodious tune however the results are  rather odious. Learn from history and beware of Messiah's . Especially when they wear a Gandhi cap!

Check Point Charlie!

Throughout the cold war Berlin was divided between east and west by a wall. Checkpoint Charlie was a crossing point in the Berlin Wall located at the junction of Friedrichstrasse with Zimmerstrasse. Without argument it is the most well known and famous exit and entry point between any two borders. Countless books, films and spy thrillers have used its mystique and intrigue to tell their story.

In real life too the situation was no less exciting. Many world famous and infamous historical events have taken place at the site. A teenager Peter Fechter, who was shot in the pelvis by East German guards while trying to escape from East Berlin became a media sensation as his body lay tangled in a barbed wire fence, bleeding to death, in full view of the world’s media. President Kennedy’s famous quote “Ich bin ein Berliner” was delivered around here. This site has been the stage for many other singular events, escapes, protests, tragedies and triumphs as well.

None were bigger than the Berlin Crisis of October 1961. For a tense week or so dozens of US and Russian battle tanks were facing each other off; across Check Point Charlie. All ready to fire and start WW III. That tension eventually got diffused by diplomatic means.

Communist regime kept the area around the checkpoint desolate on the eastern side by design. Even on the western side it was rather an outlaying run down working class district of Berlin. There was nothing really to recommend it but Check point Charlie. That fact alone however made it one of the most sought after tourist destination. Every visitor to West Berlin went there at least once. The place had a unique importance.

Eventually the wall came down. East Germany ceased to exist and Berlin became one again in the nineties.  As can be imagined there were no more crossing points and no check points and no check point Charlie. The area around check point Charlie got demilitarized and suddenly from an outlaying district it became the central part of Berlin. Smart café’s and tony businesses mushroomed. Property values zoomed and it turned into a smart district. So what happened to Check Point Charlie? It has no political or military importance now; it is of no use any more to anybody. Was it dumped or leveled?

That is not what happened! Check Point Charlie is well and truly alive. It is where it was and has been turned into a sort of open air museum. Two actors wearing the uniforms of US military and the Red army stand guard.  Hordes of tourists come to take a picture and relive the nostalgia. It is still a people magnet.

There is a lesson in it for both Narendra Modi and L. K Advani. The lesson is that as time changes you have to make way for what is relevant to the era. However what was important in the past is not entirely useless. It usually has other uses. You only need to use a bit of imagination and smarts! 

Mad in Pakistan!

The world is around 4.5 billion years old. Evidence of human activity in the Indian subcontinent has been found to be almost 500,000 years old. Some of the oldest civilizations of the world were found in these geographical locations. There is some argument about how old exactly but the concept of India itself is very old. Much  older than any other country in Africa ,Europe or anywhere else. India's cultural influence easily extended beyond the Indian Sub continent to Thailand, Burma , Indonesia and Malaysia and Tibet on one side and Afghanistan on the other. It exists even today and is quite apparent to even the biased eyed.

Various kingdoms and civilizations controlled different geographical boundaries at various times in history; but India is really not a line on the map. Cliched it maybe but it is a state of mind. If you feel Indian, you are one. As Arabs invaded their country and imposed Islam  on a Zoroastrian Iran;  that community migrated over from Iran many centuries ago and landed in the present day Gujarat.They are still known as Parsi( from Iran)  and they still follow their foreign faith; yet no one has any doubts about them being anything but Indians today. Least of all they themselves. Hundreds of individuals participated the other day in Manhattan ,NYC in the India day parade. Had anyone checked their passports they would have counted only a handful with Indian ones. Who were the rest ? Technically all non Indians ;yet  all of them feel strongly Indian even though they are the citizens of a different state.

There are countless lessons to be learned from India's ancient wisdom,culture and history. Some however must be learned from the recent history as well. Last 70 odd years should have taught us that as there are individuals outside of India that feel and act Indian ; there are individuals inside  India, that do not! Further it should have told us that a bulk of them control their own territory outside of present day Indian control and call it Pakistan. Genetically , culturally and historically Indians ; these individuals completely reject their Indian roots. Do not ever treat them as such. They want to be someone else. They are not sure what but 'Indian' is not one of them! Kapish ?

Once we get that basic fact through our confused minds ,  we can begin to design the contours of our relationship with each other. It is not about who is right and who is wrong! It is not about good Indian Vs. evil Pakistani! It is only about being realistic and responding to actual situations on the ground. Unfortunately India's Pakistan policy has been determined by misty eyed, geriatric brains; completely addled by the grief of their  homes  lost several decades ago in obscure places like Gah and Jehlum. Their pining has incapacitated their analytic faculties and their responses have swung like a pendulum from military confrontation to taking a bus trip. In between they have  wound down intelligence assets in Pakistan; paid obeisance at the grave of the founder of Pakistan and even organized candle lit vigils at the border too. As far as one can tell none of of this has worked. We are where we were!

Pakistan's India policy is far more clear. They have learned their lessons from the history rather well. They know that Indian culture has the infinite capacity to overcome other subcultures. They fully know that they are a small nation that needs a force multiplier. They know that their resources are no match and they have to find ways to get a bigger bang for their buck. They know that they need to keep India unhinged or it will become an existential threat to them just by simply being there. No matter who led whatever form of government in Pakistan they have followed their own advice and stayed with the plan all these 65 odd years. Starting with inculcating an aversion of everything Indian through school system to successfully pursuing nuclear capability and running world's most efficient terrorist operations. And from blank refusal to let Indian artistes perform in Pakistan to dragging their feet endlessly on giving it MFN status. They are doing it all.

Pakistan is acutely conscious of its fault lines. They know that the idea of Pakistan lies buried in Dhaka ( they blame India for it) and they do not have even a sad apology left as a rationale for a separate country( keep chanting the 'Islam' mantra). They are bothered by the fact that there are more Muslims in India than there are in entire Pakistan and there are a whole lot of them that have done exceedingly well. From film stars to business tycoons and from army generals to being presidents of the state; Muslims have figured prominently. So they continue to harp on Kashmir. They are hanging in by the very last thread in Baluchistan and are now faced with the spectre of a 250,000 strong Afghan army on their western border. Army that is being trained by and is friendly with India. What do you expect them to do?

Notorious terrorist Abdul Karim Tunda was caught recently with a perfectly valid Pakistani passport. How did the document get issued? Fact is that Pakistan will always be attracted to asymmetrical warfare and terrorism as their leading edge. They have always exercised this option and always will. From their standpoint they do not have  other options. Starting now and leading upto 2014 draw down from Afghanistan; these measures in combination with nuclear blackmail will be deployed more and more by them. No Nawaz Sharief will change these policies , especially Nawaz Sharief in his present term. Prominent politician Sheikh Rashid and retired General Hamid Gul ; both close to Pakistani security establishment and terrorist networks ,openly talk about making a first nuclear strike to take down India even if means total annihilation of Pakistan when India retaliates. Do not blame Pakistan, they are threatening Mutual Assured Destruction as a blackmailing point to circumscribe Indian plans. They  however are not mad. This tried and tested policy has paid them rich dividends and been very cost effective  to boot. India has to decide if issuing press releases in the media about dead soldiers on the border and mouthing inanities about peace and brotherhood in the region are adequate responses ? 

India will need a  short term policy that  arrests this situation right here and right now !  They will also need a long term action plan that not only addresses Pakistan's concerns substantially but also has enough teeth to impose an unbearably prohibitive cost on any  misadventure. Recent history however tells us that we should not hold our breath for anything spectacular from the Indian state . Even a reasonable counter is really too much to ask for. They do not look like it! At least not yet!

Merchants of Death !

At the height of the glorious Roman empire , death was a spectator sport. Trained fighters fought each other to death in the Colosseum. These gladiators sometimes fought lions and other animals. Both the Roman citizens as well as high and mighty of the empire watched and enjoyed the deadly combat of the mostly hapless individuals forced into this situation. It was financially, socially and politically lucrative to trade , train, own and run these slave fighters. Time passed on; the world changed. Roman empire became  history. Slave trade is dead; death however is still big business.

West is systematically  organized and a recent research for CNBC put the value of "death care" industry in the USA alone at a staggering $ 17 Billion. The business is recession proof and immensely profitable. If one was to scan the commercial real estate listings ,one would not find too many funeral homes listed for sale. If you find one it would never be  under several million. There are funeral directors, casket manufacturers;embalmers;hearse providers; grave diggers, headstone providers;musicians who play during the ceremonies; caterers who provide refreshments and of course the clergy to conduct religious ceremonies. There are real estate sellers who sell  "subterranean condos";(euphemism for grave) and grief Councillors who will help survivors come over the loss . They all deal with the rituals of death and turn it into a neat profit for themselves. There are multi-locational companies that operate as corporations,have a fully developed sales and marketing department and provide all these services as a package that you can  book and pay for , well in advance of your expected departure date. For all I know there maybe a "group discount" or "buy one - get one free" offered as well!

Like everything else this industry in India is not so well documented or regularized . It is part of the massive underground economy and based on individual entrepreneurs. There are no incorporated companies yet , although some professions are passed on from generation to generation.  One can however easily guess the size of the business considering a population that is four times the US. Everyone has to die.There are some social organizations providing transportation of the body and other basic services free of charge ; but mostly everything else costs money. From the small shop keeper who sells the bier; white shroud; rope to tie the body,incense, camphor ,flowers and  other required material;  to the  licensed wood seller outside the cremation ground. From the cremation ground keeper who will help in washing the body ,setup the pyre and conduct the cremation; to the pujari who performs rituals at the tenth day or thirteenth day at the river ghat and the barber to shave the head off. They all have an interest in death with a slick ,successful and proven business model built around it.

Other people deal in death too! Hangman at the jail will have no job if there was no one sentenced to die. Military men skirt with death all the time, sometimes their own. Insurance agent's commissions are entirely dependent on his skills in making you afraid of sudden death. Doctors see death around them everyday and have a job of keeping it at bay for their patients. Coroner and Postmortem performer however needs the dead to make a living. Butchers and abattoirs need to kill and sell the dead. Only in this case it is animals and not humans.

Some moral and ethical issues apart, none of them however can be called "merchants of death". It is clear that all of them provide  an actual service or fulfill a genuine need. This pejorative can only be applied to drug peddlers who prey on weaker minds to sell their deadly wares as well as criminals who make and distribute fake medicines . Both virtually murdering innocents for their profit . Terrorists and arms dealers also can be termed as such. One for their heavenly profit other for their worldly one. These are the kind that generate the feeling of acute abhorrence. Did we miss some thing here? Is there someone worse than them ?

Lord Shiva recently had to open his third eye a little bit in the Himalayas. He was forced to do so by the human greed and human propensity to misuse and exploit nature. That however is another story but the fact is that he did open his third eye  with the result thousands had to die and several times more were seriously impacted. Worst Merchants of death immediately swung into action. What kind of low life will loot from the dead and nearly dead is beyond me, but it did happen. The victims of nature's fury were made the target of petty crime as well. The matters did not rest there. The dead , the dying and the destitute also became a spectacle just like in the old Roman days. Kings of the merchants of death watched the dance of death sitting high on their perches in the sky; some came up close later on for disaster tourism and for political point scoring with their entourage, disrupting rescue operations ; uprooting rescue personnel and generally wasting precious resources. Some merchants came and hand picked their own slaves to save. Sometimes two merchants came to save but they got into fisticuffs to save the same group of slaves. Slaves  that will vote for them again if saved. These were blind to others crying for help and who could be rescued instead. These are the real heartless, self centered merchants of death. They enjoy and profit from the dead and give absolutely nothing in return. Not even to survivors. May heavens worst curses fall on these scum! Amen!